Conversations with my toddler (B's side approximated by translation)... B: I would like some tea, Mummy dearest. M: No you don't. You don't like tea. B: I want tea. M: Are you sure? B: I'm sure. Brew me some, please. M (brews some tea, adds honey, turns it into a cooler temp, puts in sippy cup, presents to B) B (with a dismissive wave): No, no. I don't like tea. ...............(elapsed time).............. B: Banana, please, darling mother. M: You'd like a banana! Let me get you one! Would you like it peeled or to eat it like a monkey? B: Monkey-style, dearest mum. That sounds like the most fun! M: Here you go! B (takes one bite): Here, Mummy. Here's a banana I got for you! M: I don't want a banana right now. That one's yours. B (peels down the banana till the top of it flops over and lands in a pile of cat hair): Oopsies. Your banana fell, Mumsy. M (picking up the hairy banana chunk): OK. We're j...