Conversations with my toddler (B's side approximated by translation)...
B: I would like some tea, Mummy dearest.
M: No you don't. You don't like tea.
B: I want tea.
M: Are you sure?
B: I'm sure. Brew me some, please.
M (brews some tea, adds honey, turns it into a cooler temp, puts in sippy cup, presents to B)
B (with a dismissive wave): No, no. I don't like tea.
B: Banana, please, darling mother.
M: You'd like a banana! Let me get you one! Would you like it peeled or to eat it like a monkey?
B: Monkey-style, dearest mum. That sounds like the most fun!
M: Here you go!
B (takse one bite): Here, Mummy. Here's a banana I got for you!
M: I don't want a banana right now. That one's yours.
B (peels down the banana till the top of it flops over and lands in a pile of cat hair): Oopsies. Your banana fell, Mumsy.
M (picking up the hairy banana chunk): OK. We're just going to put this banana in the compost because *I* don't feel like eating a hairy banana. I'll just eat the small piece that's left there.
B (breaking into sobs): No! No! I WANT that hairy banana! Please, don't throw its battered body away to the compost! Why would you perform such a heinous act!? GIVE ME THE HAIRY BANANA!!!!
M: We are NOT EATING THE HAIRY BANANA!!!!